The Weight of “Just”

There’s a small word that shows up a lot in the way people talk about themselves.

Just.

“I just need to get a bit better.”“I just need to have more energy.”“I just need to try harder.”“I just need to be able to cope.”“I just need to push through this bit.”

On the surface, it sounds reasonable. Modest, even. Not asking for much.

But “just” is rarely neutral.

It quietly minimises what’s actually being asked of you.

When someone says “I just need more energy,” what they’re often carrying is a body that feels depleted, a nervous system that hasn’t felt safe in a long time, and a life that hasn’t allowed much rest. That’s not “just” anything.

“I just need to work harder” often translates to “I don’t feel allowed to need support” or “there isn’t space for my limits here.”

“I just need to get through this” can mean “I don’t know how much longer I can keep going like this, but I don’t feel able to stop.”

The word “just” flattens complexity. It makes something heavy sound light. It turns a genuine need into a personal failing if it isn’t met quickly.

There’s often an unspoken comparison inside it too — an idea that other people can do this, so you should be able to as well. That if you can’t, it must be because you’re not trying hard enough yet.

From a nervous system perspective, this matters.

When you say “I just need to…”, there’s often an internal pressure to override signals rather than listen to them. Fatigue becomes something to push past rather than information. Emotional overwhelm becomes an inconvenience rather than a message.

In therapy and in nutritional work, I hear “just” used most by people who are already doing a lot. People who are high-functioning, responsible, self-aware, and exhausted. People who have learned to minimise their own needs in order to keep going.

The irony is that “just” often keeps you stuck.

If you frame something as small, simple, or quick, and it isn’t, the only place left to put the frustration is back onto yourself. “Why can’t I just do this?” “Why am I still here?” “What’s wrong with me?”

Nothing is wrong with you.

What you’re navigating is layered. Physical health, mental health, past patterns, stress, belief systems, nervous system regulation, identity — none of that is “just” anything.

Sometimes a more honest sentence sounds like:“I need support to rebuild my energy.”“I’m learning how to work with my limits instead of against them.”“This is harder than I expected, and that matters.”“I’m allowed to need more than a quick fix.”

Not everything needs to be reframed into positivity. Sometimes it just needs to be named accurately.

So the next time you hear yourself say “I just need to…”, you might pause and ask:What am I minimising here?What would it be like to take this need seriously?What changes if I stop rushing myself?

Because often, the work isn’t about doing more.

It’s about finally allowing what’s already here to count.